101 Days of Lula (subtitled, "text messages from my unrequited love affair with a Backpage.com Asian escort") is a unique memoir of text messages between an elderly gentleman and a young woman, whom he vainly thought he could get to fall in love with him.
Will, 64, long divorced, discovers a world of escorts and affordable sex while watching Anderson Cooper's 360. Will's sexual desires have been relegated to the basement of his consciousness for many years. Suddenly, they are awakened by the news that young escorts are in his neighborhood and readily available. It is an OMG moment for him, and he decides to check out the women on Backpage.com. He peruses the sexy photos of the gals, and settles on one:
LULA: $160/ I am a 23 year-old college student born in Canada and of Southeast Asian descent. University girl trying to balance her predictable school life with some excitement. I have a friendly, gentle, and compassionate nature. I have dark hair, a light complexion with brown eyes. I have a petite frame at 5'1 32b 23 34 and 100 lbs. My idea of a good time is chatting with a glass of wine while playfully touching and teasing each other, building up to a full body massage and then some.
Well, the price was right, and her pictures were lovely, and so Will asked her to come to his apartment for sex. Lula turned out to be an amazing package. She was not only an eager sex partner; she also enjoyed hanging around for hours to watch dvds, talk about ghosts, palmistry, the spirituality of rocks, eat frozen dinners and cheesecake, and sometimes sleep over. It was like having a pretend girlfriend. Will couldn't have been happier. Not looking for love at the beginning, it wasn't long until he fell in love with this attractive and interesting young woman. But when he foolishly tried to get her to fall in love with him, what should have been a simple, straightforward business relationship became seriously complicated, ending with Lula declaring that she did want him to love her. It was a burden that she did not want. He should find another girl, she told him, and abruptly broke off their "arrangement."
At his age, Will knew that it would be pretty impossible to find another Lula. He'd blown a good thing. He pleaded with her to reconsider, but that only made her angry and all the more resolved to never see him again. At last, she blocked his cellphone number, and then all he had left of their relationship were memories and text messages. Like most young people, Lula did not speak to anyone on the phone. Text communication only. Grieving, Will did the only thing he knew how to do--write. And so he assembled the text messages of his failed affair, added some narrative to make his and Lula's story clearer, and managed to get a degree of closure on the events that broke his foolish, old heart.
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